I never like talk about cat abuse, but what I hate even more is people getting their undies in a bunch over something so clearly hilarious.
I don't believe that David Thorne is an actual cat abuser, so laugh away at this e-mail exchange with a tightly-wound cat lover on 27b/6. (If you're not familiar with the site, this guy contacts people via the internet - sometimes Craigslist responses, customer service complaints, etc. - and engages them in lengthy and humorous arguments.)
A sampling of Thorne's wisdom, in case you're one of those who needs a teaser:
"Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated "I am interested in your nipples" or not. Cats have nineteen."